I've been sitting on this post for a while now, and I'm not quite sure what to make of it. Honestly, it's a little scary to write, because passion is a funny thing. It can be so elusive for some, and so clear and demanding for others.
I struggled with not knowing what I wanted to do with my life for a long time. I knew the basics. I knew that there was this life that I was supposed to live, it was just in the logistical how that I found myself tripped up. I think what is a little frightening about this is that I can't say with certainty that I have figured out the how. Perhaps I'm completely wrong now, and a few years down the road I will realize my mistake and try something else. But, at the same time, I don't think that's going to happen.
There was this long period of time when I felt like I didn't have something to sink my time, effort, and energy into. I wanted it to be engineering, I really did. At first it was computer programming, then electrical engineering, but nothing really stuck. I wasn't excited about doing those things, and I didn't really have any big ideas of how to move forward and get more excited about them. That's probably my failing, so be it.
Either way, I tapped back into something that I used to enjoy doing a long time ago: writing stories. I used to fill up cheap notebooks with random stories that I had come up with, and make up stories and games to play out with my Lego, and I always enjoyed the creative writing assignments in school. My English Comp teacher even told me that I should pursue writing after I finished her class (sure that may not be a super valid reason to pursue something, but at least it was more than nothing).
So how did I figure out something that I enjoyed to put time and effort into? Two answers: I don't know, and it just came to me. I did some looking back to see what really drove me when I was growing up, but other than that I just had to keep trying things until something fit.
This all isn't to say that you should give up everything in pursuit of your dreams, or what you think might be your passion. I think that could just lead to heartbreak and confusion. For example, I am still pursuing my career as an electrical engineer, and I will continue to do that. Perhaps I'm not pursuing it with as much vigor as I could, using my free time and whatnot, but I am putting my working hours into it, trying my hardest, and learning all I can to become better at my job. At the same time, I am putting my free time to use doing something else that I really enjoy. If the writing doesn't go anywhere, which is a very likely possibility, I haven't lost anything, and I remain in control (well, inasmuch as I control anything).